Spacing Your Kids: How We Decided

It is often one of the most sensitive topics to ask a couple.

Sooooo, when are you guys having kids? 

This is a question inevitably asked by someone at your wedding. Usually after a few too many champagne toasts. Or by a nosy, but well-intentioned co-worker who has no idea whether or not you want kids at this season in your life, or are dealing with infertility or financial stressors.

Second most sensitive topic...


Soooo, when are you guys going to have another kid?

Really? I never knew that it was the business of anyone but the couple involved whether or not you were going to have zero or twelve kids. As much as I have my own opinions, I certainly keep them to myself and save my venting about this subject for my husband.

Here is how we decided when the timing was right for us. Keep in mind that we have been EXTREMELY lucky to get pregnant right away both times. We were quite deliberate as to when we wanted to grow our family. Here was what was in our "plan". Heh.

• I have only ever wanted to have two kids, never more.
• I wanted to be finished having kids by age 33 or 34 at the latest (no advanced maternal age on my medical chart, please). I will be a spring chicken 33 with this young 'un. Vanity gets the best of us.
• I wanted my kids to be at least 4 years apart, because I wanted to be able to really focus time and energy on them individually while they were still young. 
• Hyperemesis gravidarum is enough to make you never want to ever get knocked up again. I like not being pregnant. I like being able to sleep in and not having leaky boobies. I like being able to have a glass of wine on the weekends. I like being able take a Motrin when I want to!
• I love my job and my patients and I wanted time to build my practice during my first few years here.
• I wanted to have full-on baby fever (similar to Bieber Fever, but less painful) before wanting to try again.

So there you have it. How we decided to wait (gasp!) 4 years to have another child. This is what worked for us. Not judging anyone else's decisions. This is just what worked for our family.

What about you? How deliberate were you in planning your family? Laissez-faire or Machiavellian like me?

Grilling fashions from MrDrama...

Dude...

The Buena Vista Social Club called and they want their hat back.

:-)

As a result of #NashvilleFlood2010 and #OtherSituation2010...

I may or may not have had my flight to BNA canceled and may or may not be sitting in a Midwest airport hotel in my last clean t-shirt and underwear and may or may not be watching Cartoon Network with my daughter (who may or may not be only wearing tights and tennis shoes) while eating junk food from room service.

Maybe.

"Heirloom" Necklaces

I generally am a fan of J.Crew's jewelry, especially the Collection pieces and some of the crystal necklaces from last year.  Some are a little overpriced, I know. But I like that most their stuff sometimes looks like pieces you would get at an antique store or from your grandmother's costume jewelry collection. 

Unfortunately, their heirloom trend sometimes goes a little too far.  I saw some new additions to the sale section last week and I couldn't help but be reminded of Miss Havisham from Great Expectations. I could see her in her tattered wedding dress wearing some of these *ahem* interesting necklaces.

Dogwood Decadence Necklace, here

Looks like it was made by my toddler...

 Faceted Raindrop Necklace, here

In the dark...

Melange Ribbon Necklace, here

What the what???

If you own any of these, no offense.

By which I really mean, bless your heart.

By which I really mean, I am internally rolling my eyes at you.

Exodus 14:14

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."

I just got back from my church's women's retreat Saturday and I was blown away. It is refreshing to be real with people and to be spiritually vulnerable in a way that you don't often get to do in the hustle and bustle of daily life. One of the awesome things about attending church in Nashville is that you get to have amazing songwriters sharing their talents every time you turn around. Seriously. You couldn't swing a cat in this town without hitting someone who writes or sings or records their own music. Although I am not sure you would actually want to swing a cat. Funny expression. People sort of frown upon that sort of thing. Anyway...

One of the songs we sang was "Your Grace Astounds Me" (written by some ladies at my church)

You have done all that Your law commands
With Your outstretched arms You have stayed Your own hand
As I stand safe on this holy ground
God, Your grace astounds me

Back story (at least as I interpret it): you know the part in the Bible where the Israelites are fleeing Egypt and the Red Sea is miraculously parted by Moses stretching his hands over the sea? That is the part that gets me. I just imagine these women taking their baskets and carrying their babies and portable possessions and trusting some crazy looking guy with a long beard as they cross through on dry land. Not understanding. Likely fearful. Not fighting. Just trusting. What an awesome thing to be able to do and something that I continually struggle with - to just trust that God has got your back.

Things NOT to put in your response for a babysitter...

• I will be bringing my __ -year old child/boyfriend/teenager along...is that a problem?
  
• I will bring my resume along (I'm sorry, but whatever happened to "don't let her jump on the couch" and "the liquor cabinet and good chocolate is off limits" and "here's the number and $20 for Pizza Hut"?).
  
• I can only work the 3rd Sunday under a full Saturn when the moon is in the 7th house...
• I work for Child Protective Services (that sounds like it would be a good idea, but then they would find out about my tendency to let the Kid watch Dora the Explorer and eat too many french fries and the gig would be up...)

Things that make you go hmmm.....

A few observations from my recent trips out of town:

-Why is it that HGTV hires at least 1 Brit/Aussie/New Zealander on each show? Do they think us silly Americans are that easily swayed by a carpenter who has an accent (hanging head in shame)?

-Why is it that some highly educated MD/PhDs cannot seem to grasp the concept of deodorant (according to my husband, I was making my "stinky face" a lot this past weekend)?

-Why is it that the cheaper the hotel you stay in, the more services they offer you for free (free breakfast, free parking, free in-room wireless, free wine and beer reception at night)?

-Why are most rental cars available from rental companies awkward clunkers like the PT Cruiser or the Chevy HHR (which sucks, by the way)? Next time, I want a nice Honda Accord.

-Why is Houston so damned BIG? I mean seriously, you may have reached the city and still be 47 miles from your destination in Houston.

-Why would you take your children to Hooters? I know they have good wings, but come on people...

-Why does Walmart in TX sell my favorite wine for $4.97 when I can never find it for under $10 at home (damned Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board!)?

-Why is Texas so freakin' hot? The following picture was taken at 7 pm...