Potty Training 101

So I am not exactly sure how any adult manages to make it past childhood without turning into a pooping and peeing mess of a grown-up. Like learning to walk and Spam, potty training is a great unknown mystery that eventually results in a fully continent child. That said, I have been secretly wanting to potty train the Kid for months. We had a window of opportunity in January when she was going without any assistance, but with gearing up for the move and settling into life in Nashville, we missed it.

Now here we are a few months later, on day #7 of being diaper free in the daytime. Not to say that we haven't had a few, um, shall we call them...incidents.

Incident #1: The swimming pool. Before you throw up in you mouth, we didn't have a Baby Ruth candy bar in the bottom of the pool incident. We only (almost) did. I, in my zeal to go to the pool the other day forgot to pack a swim diaper. After about 30 minutes in the pool, she gets out for a snack and the old gastrocolic reflex kicks in and about 10 minutes later, we have a "what's that smell?" moment and then we are wrapping her in a towel and hustling her off to the Jeep, rushing home at 50 mph with the A/C blasting and all the windows down.

Incidents #2-#4: The pee puddles on the wooden floor. Let me preface this by saying that most of these happened when we were still in the 'Burgh. Of course, now that we have hardwoods, we have had it happen only once. While I have never had a pet that doesn't live in an aquarium, I imagine this is much like housebreaking a small puppy. Only I have a "puppy" who is able to throw a temper tantrum and talk back. Fun times.

Incident #5: Tiny underwear. It seems to be almost impossible to find. I have tried Target, Walmart and Children's Place to no avail to find XXS girls briefs. Stinking Kid with her nonexistent butt. Especially when she makes requests for Dora and Elmo underwear. At least she hasn't discovered princesses yet (hee-hee).

Incident #6: Michael Jackson moves. We have found that big girl underwear = lots of unfortunate grabbage, if you will. Seriously, Kid, 1985 called and wants its dance moves back.