Nursery Updates!

As we come into the home stretch prior to the Dude's arrival, I figure I should let you know how things look in the nursery. I think we are done, minus a few little pieces here and there.

The main difference between Kid #1 and Kid #2 is that I realize that this time around, all a baby really needs is some food to eat, a place to sleep, diapers and some clothes. That said, nurseries are a lot of fun to put together and let me introduce you to ours...






This is the nook for our new glider from the Best Chair Company. Seriously, that is the name. I ordered it during a sale from a local children's store.






This this the view from the doorway. A friend from church with far more sewing skills than I have made the custom linens, including the valance, crib skirt and pillows. The elephant lamp on the dresser is from HomeGoods.






This is the previous view of the other wall in the nursery, with the old knobs.






I changed out the knobs for some nickel finish ones that I picked up at Lowes.






Close up of the valance (a sunny yellow stripe with an inset box pleat with dandelions - the most masculine flower I could come up with!).






Not in the original picture, but wanted to carry out the subtle elephant theme with these bronze finish finials from Pottery Barn Kids. Other little pops of yellow include this little storage box that I got at the Container Store and the diaper bag that my friend surprised me with at my shower.











On the crib wall, I have a few more personalized goodies...






Those pictures were made by another friend who is a graphic artist/illustrator (remember the Pirate Princess Party invitations?) who exceeded my expectations for these custom prints. And the crocheted blue and white blanket draped over the end of the crib was handmade by yet another friend. I have some very generous (and very sweet) friends!







Close up of the crib skirt...






The trio of prints features lyrics from one of my favorite kids' songs, "You Are My Sunshine".My daughter has been singing this song to my belly this pregnancy, so it makes the lyrics extra-special.

A quick loop back to the nursing corner shows a couple of my other nursery favorites. A few talented friends made me nursing covers as well as the burp cloths on the side table.






Above the glider is a custom Etsy print with the verse Zephaniah 3:17 on it. This was a present from two dear friends who picked a perfect complement to the nursery.






I LOVE this Martini side table from West Elm! I had been pining for it from afar for several months, thinking it would be a perfect table, but not wanting to drop that kind of money on a table for a kid's room. It was like a sign when about a month ago, my local store had a floor sample on sale for $40! I snatched that sucker up faster than you can say "Pinterest".

Custom changing pad by the same friend.






And last, but not least, a boob shaped contractor grade light. 'Cause why not? Babies like boobs, right?





I want to get a small rug for the center of the room, but I still haven't found what I'm looking for... (U2 lyrics, say what?)

What do you think? Chime in!

OOTD: Aubergine Dream

The rule I have adhered to this pregnancy has been comfort above all else. Also, I have sworn not to buy many maternity clothes that will never be used again. I think I have bought a total of two dresses a few tops and a pair of jeans so far. I have also borrowed some clothes from some friends (which I highly recommend). I am using my looser fitting dresses as tunics over leggings and skinny pants and breaking out all of my flats. Skirts pulled low with a maternity tank or a tank dress is my go-to outfit. 

Here is a recent favorite outfit in a great eggplant-y color. I love this color for fall!

22 weeks

Target maternity dress

Bandolino shoes

OPI's "All A-Bourdeaux the Sled" on my nails

Those heels didn't last that long on my feet, but they were comfortable enough to make it the requisite few hours to look cute.

What has been your favorite outfit you've worn recently? Any colors you love wearing in the fall?
Chime in!

Going Gray

As I mentioned earlier, the Dude's room is going to be gray. I have been a little obsessed with the idea of having a gray room in our house and this is the perfect opportunity. I was recently at a friend's home and she had all of her walls painted gray and it looked so perfectly chic that I asked her for the paint colors in the middle of a party.

She told me the colors were Benjamin Moore's Dolphin (the darker patches on the left) and Nightingale from their Affinity line. The best part was that at my local store (not sure if this is true nationwide), I got two test pots of paint completely free to try out at home. Way to go, Benjamin Moore!

The first photo is taken in the morning light next to the window.

This picture is on the opposite wall and the Dolphin patch looks a lot darker in this view.

Which shade of gray would you go for? Also, with the dark wood furniture and gray walls, what colors do you think would accent well?

Chime in!

Nursery Plans

Of all the rooms in our home, the most ignored room until now (maybe besides the guest bedroom) has been the nursery. It has been just a catch-all room for all of the baby toys and the Kid's outgrown shoes and clothes. Then after the miscarriage earlier this year, it was a little hard to even go in the room, because looking at the baby stuff made me sad.

Now that we are past the halfway point, I feel a little more comfortable thinking about the nursery. I have expressed to several friends that after a pregnancy loss, you always feel like you are waiting for the other shoe to drop and for something to happen. But I am reassured as I feel the near constant flutters of the Dude. Hope springs eternal...

Here is the nursery. As a good friend once described commented, it is "minty". The green isn't horrible, but it is akin to falling into a tub of pistachio ice cream. If you're into that sort of thing.

Our nursery furniture is in really good shape, even if it is more traditional than I would go for now. We got these five years ago when furniture trends were very different. I asked MrDrama if he would paint them white, but he put the kibosh on that idea super-quick. Party pooper...

Our glider will probably be replaced by something that is a little more comfortable for me to fall asleep in. It is perfectly functional, but I think I want a more streamlined glider that is more like a side chair and is fully upholstered. My other option will be to slipcover it in a more modern cover. Not sure yet.

Ignore the random pool floatie behind the chair. I told you this room was a catch-all...

One thing I am eager to redo will be knobs on the furniture to attempt to modernize them a little. I am thinking some frosted glass ones like these or library cup pulls may do the trick. Ignore the piles of too-small 3T clothes piled on the changing table.

This is probably the best representation of the unfortuntate color in the nursery.

For the wall color, I am feeling the gray trend that has been all over the blogosphere. I was at a friend's home for a party and fell in love with the color on her walls. More on that tomorrow...

What color would you do in a bedroom for a boy?

OOTD and How a Pediatrician Behaves at Ultrasounds

I promised more about the ultrasound from a few weeks ago. So we all went to the appointment which was entertaining with a four year old in tow. I think she was expecting to see pictures of the actual baby rather than the grainy ultrasound pictures, which immediately led to boredom. After listening to about five minutes of melodramatic Victorian-era sighing and 21st century whining, we got the iPad out to distract her.

As for the ultrasound, I let me enlighten you as to how a pediatrician (or probably anyone in the medical field) goes into the anatomy scan ultrasound. Most non-medical folks want everything to be okay but really want to know if it's a boy or a girl. Here is my internal monologue...

Oh good, there are the kidneys. Thank God! That means the lungs are probably okay (babies swallow their pee, which actually enters the lungs and makes them grow)...

Come on, heart. Please oh please oh please have four chambers... whew! No Fontan or BT shunts (heart defect surgeries) for us...

Where's the stomach? Is it in the abdomen? What? No diaphragmatic hernia? Nice. Below the diaphragm like we wanted.

Please be a boy OR a girl, and not something inbetween (just being honest)...

All fingers and toes, right? No amniotic bands? Good!

So you see how medicine gives you skewed perspective of an ultrasound. Of course, we would deal with any issues, but it is always amusing to me how much my medicine background makes me know too much, sometimes. It is an absolute miracle to me that the vast majority of babies and pregnancies turn out absolutely normal.

And here is an belly pic from last week.

20 weeks (sorry for the blurry pic)

J.Crew shirt, bracelet and flower pin

Banana Republic necklace

Old Navy skirt

Target watch

DSW shoes

How about you, does your professional background skew the way you view things?

Ultrasound Reveal and I'm back...

My apologies to readers who have emailed and sent me Facebook messages to check in on me. One thing I have learned is never trust the promises of a busy pregnant woman. Ever. We say one thing and then we fall asleep at 7 pm. I said that I would post ultrasound results soon and then I was laid out sick for a week with a fever and a bad cold which has progressed into seasonal allergies/bronchitis/a weird asthma flare up.

So like any good doctor, I have treated what is probably a regular cold into smithereens by self-medicating with as many Category B medications as possible. Take that, rhinovirus!

Anyway, we are having a BOY! I would show you the actual ultrasound, but no one needs to see Kid Too's the Dude's boy bits. And he was so active, that we got few good profile pictures. So instead I will post a belly picture of me a few weeks ago.

19 weeks

Dress: Land's End Canvas

Belt: J.Crew

Shoes: Ann Taylor

The ultrasound went well and the Dude looks like he is growing right on Target. It was very, VERY obvious it was a boy, hee hee. I would make a raunchy joke about it, but I will keep my dirty jokes to myself. I will post more about the ultrasound tomorrow. I am feeling a teeny bit better, but still throwing up about once a week - sorry, bushes in the TJMaxx parking lot last Tuesday. But being past the halfway point and feeling the constant kicking (much more than with the Kid's pregnancy, even with an anterior placenta that hides movement more) is making it all feel very real. This one is going to give me a run for my money, I can already tell.

Smooches and happy Monday, friends!

Pregnancy is So Hawt...

If anyone asks me how I am feeling these days, my answer is sort along the lines of "blechhh...". That "pregnancy "glow" is actually the sheen of sweat from me dry heaving lunch into the toilet.

I am one of those lucky few women who gets the privilege of throwing up the entire pregnancy. I did so with the Kid up until a week before delivery and it seems like Kid Too (thanks for the suggestion, readers!) is causing the same sort of throw-uppiness. Nearing the halfway point of the pregnancy, the morning/noon/night sickness is not letting up. I thought it was bad that I threw up until 40 weeks with the Kid, but this fetus is also causing me to have crazy heartburn and I am spitting like a camel, which apparently are all related (Google hyperemesis gravidarum, reflux and ptyalism for some light reading).

Attractive, I know. The Kid may have called me "disgusting" or "nasty" a time or two so far. Poor thing. Just fetch me my spittoon and pipe down, Kid. 

Nothing helps. Trust me, if there is a remedy out there, I have already tried it. Bland food. Spicy food. Ginger. Seabands. Accupressure. Zofran. Reglan. Mint tea. Crackers. Unisom. B6. However, here is what I have learned...

• How to throw up quietly at work. 
• Nothing makes a pregnant woman move faster than the threat of puking on the floor. I can HUSTLE, people.
• Ice cream and milkshakes are about the only things that still taste okay on the way back up.
• Your stomach can hold an insane amount of volume. Fascinating really...
• I (who when non-pregnant has a stomach made of iron - dude, I'm a pediatrician) can now smell things from a mile away and can no longer stand the smell of the following: wine, coffee, Lysol spray, waterless hand sanitizer, my husband's aftershave, my deodorant and tomatoes.
• I can lose weight and still look pregnant. Hopefully this baby is sucking all of the fat from my behind.
• Apparently, a human body can be sustained on ice-cold orange Fanta and ice cream for weeks.

I don't intend to write much more about pregnancy symptoms, because quite frankly, it tends to get boring. If anything scintillating happens, I will post it. I was reminded about how I should cherish this period of time from a friend's blog writing about missing her daughter (who recently went off to college).

In the meantime, life continues and I have a lot of things to update you guys on besides me being pregnant. Finally posting pictures of the superhero party I co-planned later this week...

Hopefully, this should explain my recent decline in blogging for the last month or so. 

Yeah. I'm pregnant. Again. If you remember, I miscarried in April. And got knocked up in May. Apparently, ovaries don't waste time. Although I say that a little flippantly, I know many of my readers have struggled with infertility. It can be hard to be happy for others when you hear the news of someone expecting. I do realize how incredibly fortunate we are. Getting and staying pregnant and delivering a healthy baby is nothing short of miraculous to me. But it is what it is.

Hopefully, you can understand why I didn't post much during the past few weeks. I couldn't do outfit posts, since that would have been obvious that I was starting to get a little thick around the middle. No decorating posts because all I want to do is sleep. I couldn't do food posts, because quite frankly, food right now = GROSS. I haven't even picked up my camera in 3 or 4 weeks. Pregnant DrDrama is not fun DrDrama.

I honestly wonder how I even imagined that the last pregnancy was going to "stick", considering the complete lack of typical (for me) pregnancy symptoms last time. This time (similar to the Kid's pregnancy), I have been EXHAUSTED, puking all the time - I have learned how to throw up quietly at work - and generally feeling like my GI tract is trying to slowly kill me. Also, post-miscarriage, I was a little skittish about revealing anything too early. Although several friends guessed I was pregnant months ago when I didn't drink any wine at our July 4th party (trust me, I wish I could have!). Another friend guessed after seeing me popping Tums and crackers in church. I figure that since we are well into the second trimester now (and now perfect strangers are asking when I am due), I feel okay spilling the beans.

I will save all of my humorous pregnancy complaints for another post. We will find out the sex in a few weeks. In the meantime, I need a blog-friendly nickname for this little one. My daughter is "The Kid". The last pregnancy was "Kid 2.0".



What nickname should I pick for this new baby?

The Inevitable Questions Post-Miscarriage

How am I doing?
Fair to middling. Not even sure what "middling" really means, I have just always wanted to use that term to describe my mood. I am okay. Not great, but okay. Really. We are all intermittently weepy and I never know what will set me off, but I am here.

Do you need anything?
Red wine. And sushi. And pork products with lots of nitrates. And soft cheeses. And Motrin. And hugs (although those have been know to trigger tears, but I'll take my chances).

Do you regret telling people the news early?
I don't really regret saying anything at all. We told the news publicly around when I was 8-9 weeks, when we had already seen a heartbeat on the ultrasound, so we felt we may be out of the woods. We miscarried about 1.5 weeks later. I really have appreciated the humbling support of those who know and love me and I wouldn't be able to get through this without each of you. 

Will you try again?
Of course. When we are emotionally ready, whenever that will be. 

How is the Kid doing?
I am not sure how much she understands abstractly. We told her in a way that we believe she will understand. Basically explaining in a way that is consistent with our faith as well as telling her Mommy and Daddy will probably be sad for a while and that it is okay for her to be sad and cry. We are grateful to friends who have offered plenty of distractions for her. It was hard yesterday when she and I was talking about the cross (and how it symbolizes how God talks to man).

The Kid: So that means God can do anything, right?
Me: Right. God can do anything.
The Kid: How do you talk to God?
Me: You can talk to God any time you want by just praying and listening to him. Do you want to talk to God?
The Kid: Yes.
Me: Do you want to ask Him for anything?
The Kid: I want to ask Him to give me another brother or sister.
Me: He will, baby. Not right now, but He will again someday.

That is the hardest part. Helping a four year old grieve.

Will it be weird for you to be around pregnant people and baby showers?
Ummm, no. I am a pediatrician. I am constantly surrounded by pregnant ladies and babies, so any avoiding pregnant people will be impossible. I think having already had a child is probably helping me get through this. I could imagine myself being very bitter if I didn't already have a child. Not the most flattering admission, but a human one. I am ECSTATIC about my sister's upcoming shower and hope to be able to help throw a shower for a friend who is due the same time as I would have been (I'm looking at you, B.). Will I have a sense of longing? Sure. Jealous? No. I am incredibly proud of and happy for every single preggo I know. 

What has surprised you?
I am absolutely humbled by the outpouring of love. I would say thank you, but it doesn't feel like enough. People who I haven't talked to since high school and elementary school have reached out. The internet can be a good thing. The way I revealed our grief publicly isn't for everyone. I know that. I have a friend from church who miscarried at the same stage of pregnancy and on the same day I did that few people know about. Some need to do this quietly. For me, sharing and talking lessens the weight a little.

I am also surprised at the private emails and texts and messages where SO MANY of my friends have gone through a pregnancy loss. Literally one in four messages was from a friend who had also miscarried. (Which is consistent with the statistic that 25% of ALL pregnancies end in miscarriage). Thank you each woman who shared her story.

I am not alone.

Now someone stop me before I start singing women's suffragette songs.

Sad News: Somewhere Between Loss and Hope

This was our little Kid 2.0.

Was being the operative word. We lost the baby. I had some concerning bleeding this week and I went to the OB and got the news from the ultrasound that we had feared. The little flicker of a heartbeat that we had seen on the first ultrasound (as seen above) was no longer. 

Heartbroken is the only way to describe our emotions. Even though we knew that the small gestational sac would increase the risk of miscarriage, we held out hope. I drank as much water as humanly possible, made myself rest and prayed for a miracle. The final ultrasound actually showed a HUGE gestational sac compared to the previous one, but there hadn't been that much growth in the interim.

The problem with being a blogger is that you live your life often out loud and so things that are usually hidden behind closed doors are brought to my laptop. Miscarriage is a bit of a taboo subject that makes people uncomfortable. Trust me when I say it sucks from this side of it. So I had to make the difficult announcement on Facebook as well as the calls and texts to friends. It is actually much easier online than in person. Saves people from seeing the blubbering in real life. I have a headache from crying so much and am hiding my puffy eyes by wearing sunglasses like Paris Hilton with the paparazzi.

But at this time of grief, I want to say thank you.

To all who have left me wonderful messages expressing their concern, thank you.
To my friends who immediately made offers of red wine and tequila, thank you.
To those who have let me weep on the phone with them, thank you.
To my co-workers who have given me as much time off as I need to grieve this baby, thank you.
To my church family who let me know the true meaning of community, thank you.
To my friends who have also known pregnancy loss and have given me hope, thank you.
To my mom and dad and sister and brother who know the pain of pregnancy loss and have offered nothing but love and support, thank you.
To my darling, darling daughter who reminds me daily what a beautiful gift a child is, thank you.
To my husband, there are no words. Thank you.
To my God who gave me the gift of this child for a brief but wonderful ten weeks, thank you.

I mourn, but not like those who have no hope.

Spacing Your Kids: How We Decided

It is often one of the most sensitive topics to ask a couple.

Sooooo, when are you guys having kids? 

This is a question inevitably asked by someone at your wedding. Usually after a few too many champagne toasts. Or by a nosy, but well-intentioned co-worker who has no idea whether or not you want kids at this season in your life, or are dealing with infertility or financial stressors.

Second most sensitive topic...


Soooo, when are you guys going to have another kid?

Really? I never knew that it was the business of anyone but the couple involved whether or not you were going to have zero or twelve kids. As much as I have my own opinions, I certainly keep them to myself and save my venting about this subject for my husband.

Here is how we decided when the timing was right for us. Keep in mind that we have been EXTREMELY lucky to get pregnant right away both times. We were quite deliberate as to when we wanted to grow our family. Here was what was in our "plan". Heh.

• I have only ever wanted to have two kids, never more.
• I wanted to be finished having kids by age 33 or 34 at the latest (no advanced maternal age on my medical chart, please). I will be a spring chicken 33 with this young 'un. Vanity gets the best of us.
• I wanted my kids to be at least 4 years apart, because I wanted to be able to really focus time and energy on them individually while they were still young. 
• Hyperemesis gravidarum is enough to make you never want to ever get knocked up again. I like not being pregnant. I like being able to sleep in and not having leaky boobies. I like being able to have a glass of wine on the weekends. I like being able take a Motrin when I want to!
• I love my job and my patients and I wanted time to build my practice during my first few years here.
• I wanted to have full-on baby fever (similar to Bieber Fever, but less painful) before wanting to try again.

So there you have it. How we decided to wait (gasp!) 4 years to have another child. This is what worked for us. Not judging anyone else's decisions. This is just what worked for our family.

What about you? How deliberate were you in planning your family? Laissez-faire or Machiavellian like me?

OOTD Roundup: Battle of the Pregnancy Bulge

ETA: Not gonna lie... I was up most of the night Googling articles on low amniotic fluid in the first trimester. Some articles were dire, others offered some hope. I got a lot of reassurance from friends who have had the same thing and went on to have completely normal pregnancies. Chug, chug, chug...

 ***

Now that the secret's out regarding my pregnancy, I can get back  to the business of doing outfits of the day. I will say that the first thing that I have noticed this time around is that the belly bloat has happened about 2-3 weeks earlier this time around. Apparently, this is to be expected. At 8-9 weeks pretty much none of my pants fit me anymore (whereas I was almost into the 2nd trimester the first time around). Despite the fact that the baby is about the size of a grape, I am definitely feeling the pudge.

So far, my early pregnancy choices have been skirts, dresses and leggings. Luckily, most of my jeans are relatively low rise and should fit for a bit longer.

J.Crew skirt, top and sash

Gap cardigan

Banana Republic peep toes

Banana Republic Trench

J.Crew striped tee

7FAM A-pocket jeans

Target leopard print flats

Cocomae top

7FAM A-pocket jeans

Tory Burch Revas

CABi top and skirt

H&M necklace

J.Crew tights and boots

(Back story, my tights kept falling down at work, so I had to keep doing the wiggle-wiggle-hitch-'em-up dance in my cubicle!)

J.Crew blazer and boots

Banana Republic necklace

Express top

7FAM Ginger jeans

Pardon the moving boxes in the background. Chime in, how is the first set of OOTDs for the newly pregnant lady going? Suggestions? Thoughts?

And Now For the Worst Kept Secret in the History of EVER...

...I went and got myself knocked up with Kid 2.0.

Seriously it was a poorly kept secret as secrets go. If you follow me on Twitter, are a Pittsburgh friend, work with me, got to my church, read too much into my Facebook posts or are a random stranger at Costco, you already know that I am pregnant and due this fall.

Advantages: It got me out of having to move heavy boxes during the move. BTW, we found out the day we were supposed to close but didn't. It was a welcome distraction. :-)

Disadvantages: Being tired like you have mono, having gas like Shrek the ogre, feeling nauseated like a hungover college kid after Mardi Gras. All. The. Damn. Time.

With all of the good friends I have who have struggled with (and some are still struggling with) infertility, I am eternally grateful and blessed to add to our family.
  

A little caveat...

The initial ultrasound showed slightly less amnoitic fluid than expected considering the age of the baby. Which at this point in the first trimester, is usually a maternal issue like blood pressure issues or chronic dehydration.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. Cue me freaking out and running to Dr. Google like any expectant mother would do. Cue me wondering if there is anything I could have done to prevent this. Cue me imagining a miscarriage or horrible malformations. Unlikely, but possible.

Here's the thing. If you see me, congratulate me. Don't be weird and tiptoe around me. I am ecstatic that we are expecting. We had a nice strong heartbeat today and I am thrilled about that, since I haven't "felt pregnant" (meaning I haven't been puking my guts out like with the last pregnancy). We are going to be cautiously optimistic with this little one and are praying that all turns out well and this issue resolves by the next ultrasound in a few weeks. This child is a gift for as long as we are blessed to have him/her/it here.

And I am chugging water like crazy.

The March of the Church Ladies

One of the awesome things about being in the South is what a friend of mine calls "The March of the Church Ladies".  Like the March of the Penguins, this is a well-orchestrated, planned and coordinated mission.  Instead of freezing your behind off in Antarctica, the March of the Church ladies centers around when a woman has a baby.

I miss old school SNL.

First: You have a get pregnant/plan to adopt.

Second: Someone from the church who has been coordinating pre-baby arranges for meals to be brought to your home (depending on the preference of the receiver) for up to two MONTHS (depending on the church)!

Third: Have a baby.

Fourth: The March begins. Four or five times a week for up to two months, someone from will show up at your door with a fresh homemade meal and probably a cute present for the babe. Eat lots of yummy Southern food that you don't have to make and roll your eyes at your husband who is glad he isn't eating frozen pizza or PB&J sandwiches anymore.

I would almost have another kid right now just to witness this firsthand. 

Almost.