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Friday, December 31, 2010

Putting the DRAMA in DrBabyMamaDrama...

Yesterday in clinic was the day from hell. I normally love my job, but there are certain days (particularly before holiday weekend and the start of school) that I dread, especially if we are short staffed, like we were yesterday.

Of course, I have never seen or done any of these, but I have heard of people doing this.
  • Fake paging yourself out of a room. I may have heard of people doing in this in residency. 
  • Pretending to be on the phone to avoid talking to a parent who uses a well visit slot to talk for 45 minutes about EVERY. SINGLE. DAMN. ISSUE. that their child is experiencing, from dry skin to warts to a crooked toe to having bumped their head on the door three months ago. Ma'am, that is what sick visits are for.
  • Saying that their child seems to be a little slow to learn things. Really? Because I am about to have an aneurysm just asking you basic "yes or no" questions. There is a vein in my forehead throbbing like "The Tell-tale Heart" from Edgar Allen Poe's short story. Apple, meet tree.
  •  Having to explain to the world's least bright tween-ager how to pee into a cup. Seriously? I fear for the youth of America. I may have almost had to draw a diagram of the male anatomy to explain what to do before I gave up and called for parental assistance.
  • Putting patients in time out. I may have been know to do that before.
If I was still a superstitious ex-ER doctor, I would have been tempted to blame it on a full moon. 

Not that I actually witnessed/committed any of these.


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