Of course, I have never seen or done any of these, but I have heard of people doing this.
- Fake paging yourself out of a room. I may have heard of people doing in this in residency.
- Pretending to be on the phone to avoid talking to a parent who uses a well visit slot to talk for 45 minutes about EVERY. SINGLE. DAMN. ISSUE. that their child is experiencing, from dry skin to warts to a crooked toe to having bumped their head on the door three months ago. Ma'am, that is what sick visits are for.
- Saying that their child seems to be a little slow to learn things. Really? Because I am about to have an aneurysm just asking you basic "yes or no" questions. There is a vein in my forehead throbbing like "The Tell-tale Heart" from Edgar Allen Poe's short story. Apple, meet tree.
- Having to explain to the world's least bright tween-ager how to pee into a cup. Seriously? I fear for the youth of America. I may have almost had to draw a diagram of the male anatomy to explain what to do before I gave up and called for parental assistance.
- Putting patients in time out. I may have been know to do that before.
Not that I actually witnessed/committed any of these.