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Monday, October 6, 2008

A Really Open House


We had a great open house over the weekend. We have a few potentially serious buyers and the usual nosy neighbors stopping by. There was a lot of traffic - maybe a little too much traffic because some things went missing from the medicine cabinet. I had some old antibiotics and about 10 pain pills from a surgery a year ago that I had never thrown out (I know, I know, DrDrama forgot to get rid of old meds). I has having some heartburn last night and went upstairs to get some Tums and lo and behold, the prescription bottles were emptied out.

Now entering CSI mode...

I picked up the bottle with a latex glove (I always keep these things around). I see that there are no more pills left. I deduce that a truly desperate housewife or a meth-addicted kid looking to sell some "happy pills" with a little street value must have taken the pills. I quickly check to make sure all of my valuables are still present.

- jewelry, check.

-laptop (which we had been smart enough to hide), check.

-Ipod, check.

-Uggs, check.

I breathe a sigh of relief and then plan my counterattack. I put hospital-grade laxatives and stool softeners from my postpartum stay into the now empty prescription bottles.

Smooth move, Ex-lax. Take that, you upper middle class addicts!

Ex-Lax, the gift that keeps on giving.

5 comments:

Amanda said...

OMG! That is both terrifying and hilarious all at the same time. If you happen to open your house again, I hope the pill popper gets what they deserve!

Anna said...

I never in a million years would have thought to hide pain pills! Hoo boy.

Lisa said...

I can't believe that someone stole your old pain killers! How crazy. While I hope that no one goes through your medicine cabinet that thoroughly again, I would totally love to see the reaction of the person who gets hospital grade laxatives instead of pain killers!

April said...

Unbelievable! I love your counter attack.

K,S,M and R M said...

How sad... yet funny. What does one do with old pain meds? I have lots left over from the C section. I could probably make up on the street what I've lost on Wall St. What is the asking price for a percocet? TOTALLY KIDDING! :)

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