We had a great open house over the weekend. We have a few potentially serious buyers and the usual nosy neighbors stopping by. There was a lot of traffic - maybe a little too much traffic because some things went missing from the medicine cabinet. I had some old antibiotics and about 10 pain pills from a surgery a year ago that I had never thrown out (I know, I know, DrDrama forgot to get rid of old meds). I has having some heartburn last night and went upstairs to get some Tums and lo and behold, the prescription bottles were emptied out.
Now entering CSI mode...
I picked up the bottle with a latex glove (I always keep these things around). I see that there are no more pills left. I deduce that a truly desperate housewife or a meth-addicted kid looking to sell some "happy pills" with a little street value must have taken the pills. I quickly check to make sure all of my valuables are still present.
- jewelry, check.
-laptop (which we had been smart enough to hide), check.
I breathe a sigh of relief and then plan my counterattack. I put hospital-grade laxatives and stool softeners from my postpartum stay into the now empty prescription bottles.
Smooth move, Ex-lax. Take that, you upper middle class addicts!
Ex-Lax, the gift that keeps on giving.